Where you go, I will go….

I lay on a couch in the darkness at three am, sleep eludes me.  My brain and eyes longing for rejuvenating slumber.  My ears straining to hear any sound of movement and hoping to only hear the soft snoring of my mother dozing as she sits upright in her favorite chair.  My mind replays the events from twelve hours earlier.

I arrived early for dinner at my mom’s house, we were to have spinach ravioli.  I waved at the neighbor who was lighting the coals for a grill.  I call to her…no answer, not unusual when she is in her tv room with the volume turned up loud.  Leaving the kitchen, I turn down the hall and call again…then I see her, lying on the bathroom floor.  How long has she been that way, she does not know; I try to get her to sit up, but she will not move.  I run next door and ask the neighbor, Tony, if he could help me get her up off the floor. We pick her up and carry her to her favorite chair in the family room.

Hours pass by, she nods off and wakes up…talks a bit then repeats the process.  She is cold, I can see her shivering; I turn on the heating pad and cover her with an ultra-soft animal print blanket…her favorite.  I think she has a severe UTI…she’s had them before…I call her doctor, he doesn’t think it is a UTI…he wants her to go to the ER; I hesitate she hates the hospital, she gets combative when she’s admitted…then there is the COVID virus threat.  I keep her home.  My sister comes from an hour away with antibiotics, I know I am not supposed to, but I give her them anyway. I glad my sister is here….her presence comforts me; midnight approaches, I give her an OTC pain reliever with a sleeping aid…I hope she can get some good rest.

As I lay here in the darkness, I begin to pray but the words come slowly; Jesus knows my heart.  Then the Spirit brings me this passage of scripture:

“Do not persuade me to leave you or go back and not follow you.  For wherever you go, I will go, and wherever you live, I will live; your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.” ~Ruth 1:16

She doesn’t want to be a burden…she doesn’t want to admit her need; but now the woman who gave selflessly to raise me…I will give selflessly to care for her, to enable her to stay in her home, to live on her own terms…where you go…I will go; where you live…I will live. 

I love you mom!

“Do not fear, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you; I will help you; I will hold on to you with My righteous right hand.” ~Isaiah 41:10

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